(sigh)

In all my life I never felt this sad in forever. And I have no idea what's causing it. Its not like i'm sad for some girl leaving me, (like I ever had a girl :/) or somebody in my family died recently. None of that. I just keep telling myself that people are secretly laughing behind my back and I have no idea what to do. I keep escaping to my music but that just makes it worst. Sure it makes me feel better, but I don't know what to do... It just makes me sad. I may look happy and carefree. Because that's my inside telling my outside what to do. I want to look happy so people don't think of anything of me. But when I do act happy and carefree. I might do something wrong that might make people laugh at me. I hate it so much.

(sigh)

I don't think anybody is really going to read this. But, if anybody is. I need help please. I know some people are helping me now which makes me feel better. But, I want people to know how I feel. I want ALL the people that made me feel bad about myself...to let them know how I feel. I want them to feel sad. Of what they did to me. But i'm focusing all my hate on one person. I won't display his name. But I want him to understand on what he did to me. that's all...

Um, other than that. I guess that's it for this post. I'll post more sooner or later when I get the time. So for all the people out there that get me. Peace.

OH! One more thing! If people really want to know how I feel...They should listen to these songs.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3N1MlvVc4

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeLGwrlUMTM
(um, its not called lonely day in this one. its called roulette.)

Posted by Jacob Sivley/Cooldud21

"PEACEvsANARCHY"