One Crazy F***ed Up Adventure

Well, reading from my last post "St.Patrick Day Sucks", I WAS gonna post that day. But there was somthing that I did't post in it. I was sad and I kinda...well, cryed that day. I don't know why, I just did, I was really sad. But anyways, I was planning to post another thread for this blog at lunch but guess what! The counselor came and saw me on Friday, said I was "Unsafe" to be on school ground cuz I was sad n junk, so they had to make me go see a therapist/psychiatrist. We contacted them all, but all were booked for like 3 months dealing with other wack-jobs or just going on holiday. Last option was to go to the ER in Munson. It sucked so bad... they wanded me, (to see if I got any things to hurt myself I guess) they made me wear a friggin gown, they took my blood and urine sample. I WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE THERE. I felt like one of those psychos in one of those movies but I was sane. So they kept me in this room for like 5 hours with NOTHING to do. Then a ambulance had to drive me all the way down to Grand Rapids to go to a mental hospital for teens/adolescents called "Pine Rest" which took 2 friggin hours! My parents couldn't drive me there because it was against regulation. And I got there in like what? 11PM!!! I had to wait til they inspected me and gave me a room and whatever, which took ANOTHER 2 hours... So i did't get to bed at 1 AM? Oh, did I mention I was still wearing that gown? Yeah... it sucked bad. And i'm still not done. When I got to my room, I thought I would inspect my room. Why? Well, its a wacked out hospital with crazy patients that want to either kill themselves or kill others. (what I thought at first) So I found some writing on the walls saying "I made me do it.", "LIFE", and "I'm sorry". It was pretty scary. There were dents in the wall because somebody probably threw a chair at the wall. Maybe thats why I did't have a chair in my room? Anyways, the worst part of it all. Scratches were all over the wall. You had to look close but it was ALL over the wall. I was like "wow".

But thats not all. The next day. DAY 1. It sucked. I was new (and apparently some other people too) and I did't know anybody. But here's the thing. I thought I was messed up in the head for being depressed and having suicidal thoughts. There were a couple people there at Pine Rest that were there for a Year!!! Regular discharge is 5-7 days. They were there for a year. That's crazy. But whats crazy is its SUPER boring! No electronics like Phones or Ipod, No Shoelaces, No Hoodies with Strings, Not allowed to touch each other for like a High Five or a Hand Shake. Constant Vitals, Therapy, Quiet Time... yeah, we had a quiet time. It wasn't so bad actually. Haha, I was so bored I would just like fall asleep when I flopped on the bed. But then again there were dosing me this sleep aid. I'm still taking it as we speak! We could't go outside! We couldn't watch tv! Only stupid Disney movies. They kept playing the lion king because nobody cared and the same kid kept requesting it. (sigh). The only thing that kept me going there was UNO, and Handball. I wasn't really allowed to do handball, but they did't care. I had this little stress ball. I loved it so much. That thing kept me going. And I still have it! But its so worn out from all the handball. Jeez. But after the first couple of days it gets kinda better, in fact. I thought all that therapy was stupid. But it really helped. It did actually.

When I got out. oh my god. I cannot describe my emotion in words. But its like when a convict got out of prison after 20 years and he changed his ways. I had to spend a week there. To me, it was FOREVER. To the other guys at school. It was just a week to them. Nothing exciting ever happened at school when I was gone. Well, at least I got out on spring break. Its still spring break now, and I haven't had any suicidal thoughts or depression what so ever. Its great. I love life now! Glad to be back I say! And I honestly can't wait to get back to school for some stupid reason.